1. Love means letting go of expectations

　　爱意味着抛开期望

　　Sure, we all want people to behave the way we want them to. All of these things are expectations. Expectations are just your requirements for “acceptability” of loving someone. But true love has no expectations. It simply loves “as is.”

　　自然，我们都希望别人能成为我们所期望的那样。所有这些都是期望，而期望就是你“愿意”爱上某人的条件。可是，真爱并不尽是期望——真爱是能够接受对方本来的样子。

　　2. Love doesn’t play the victim role or blame others

　　爱没有“玻璃心”，也不会苛责对方

　　Love works together. It takes responsibility. It forgives and allows other people’s actions to be their journey. Love doesn’t take things personally.

　　爱是同心协力，是同舟共济，是宽容对方并放手让对方启程。爱不会狭隘地斤斤计较。

　　3. Love includes letting go

　　爱也是放手

　　Love doesn’t equal possession. Just as the saying goes, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.” There is truth to that. Love allows people their freedom.

　　爱不等于占有。常言道：“如果你喜欢它，就请给它自由。它若能再回来，便是你的;若不愿回来，那么它永远也不会属于你。” 确实如此呵!爱会给对方自由。

　　4. Love doesn’t require you to continue a relationship

　　爱不勉强维持

　　You may love someone very much. But you may not be compatible with them. Or they may drive you crazy with their continued disregard for your feelings. You can still love them, but that doesn’t mean you have to be with them. Love doesn’t mean that you have to stay, and stay, and stay. You can leave the relationship and love them anyway.

　　或许你非常爱他，可你们根本就性格不投;或者他总漠视你的情感，让你痛苦纠缠。当然，你仍然可以爱着他，但这不表示你必须陪在他身边。爱不是强作维持无奈停留。你可以选择离开，但在心里仍然爱着对方。

　　5. Love has no room for jealousy

　　爱没有嫉妒

　　Like possession, jealousy doesn’t equal love. We think that if we’re not jealous of our loved ones that it means that we don’t love them. True love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. It knows that the other person is happy and content coming back to you, and only you.

　　和占有欲一样，嫉妒也不是爱。我们以为要是不嫉妒吃醋，就表示我们根本不爱对方。其实，真爱完全相信彼此关系多么可靠，确信那个人会很开心地选择你——而且只有你。

　　6. Love means putting other people’s needs equal to – or before – your own

　　爱意味着“忧他人之忧”

　　While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this does not serve us well in relationships. If you don’t put other people’s needs at least equal to your own, they will grow resentful. Real love truly, genuinely cares about other people’s happiness and will go to great lengths to make people feel valued.

　　为了生存，人性难免自私;但自私却不利于培养感情。如果你没能把对方的需求当成自己的事情，那么对方或许会心怀不满。真正的爱会不容置疑地“乐他人之乐”，并且尽量让对方感到受重视。

　　7. Love requires attention

　　爱需要关注

　　Love doesn’t ignore. It doesn’t look the other way. When people are in love, sometimes they think that they don’t have to “do any more work.” But real love actually enjoys giving attention to another person. It feels good, and doesn’t see giving attention to another person as a chore.

　　爱不可视而不见，不可心有旁骛。有些人以为相爱时无需“多此一举”，但真正的爱其实是需要给予对方关注的。关心对方会让你感到开心，而且一点也不觉得琐碎麻烦。

　　9. Love varies in how it is expressed and accepted

　　表达与接受方式不同，爱也随之各异。

　　What makes us “feel loved” varies. In the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he explains the different ways people give and receive love: (1) Words (2) Acts of Service, (3) Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together, and (5) Touch. It’s important to discover other people’s love language so you can understand each other and give love in a way that the other person recognizes it.

　　人们陷入爱的方式各有不同。在《爱的五种语言》一书中，盖瑞-恰普曼阐释了人们给予并接受爱的不同方式：(1)言语，(2)提供帮助，(3)赠送礼物，(4)共享时光，(5)肢体接触。因此，观察对方的爱语言很重要，这样你就能了解彼此，并以对方能够接受的方式表达爱意。

　　10. Love makes you feel good, not bad

　　爱让你情绪愉悦，而非低落

　　Many people confuse being in a relationship with love. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean there is true love present. If there is jealousy, possessiveness, constant fighting, abuse (verbal, emotional, or physical), that is not love.

　　许多人分不清相处和爱。两人相处并不一定就是真心相爱。如果伴有嫉妒、占有、经常性争吵，甚至口头、情感或身体上的暴力，那根本就不是爱。

　　Remember, love is happiness, appreciation, and feeling good. Anything other than that is not love. If we all loved one another as ourselves, the world would be a better place!

　　请记住：爱是快乐，是感恩，是心情愉悦。除此之外则并非爱。如果我们都能以爱己之心去爱他人，这个世界将会变得更加美好!

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（责任编辑：何莹莹）