1. Your partner shows up unannounced

　　1.你的配偶未先告知便出现在你面前

　　Surprising you with flowers on a random Wednesday is a welcome treat; showing up unannounced when you’re clearly busy or have a lot going on is not. If you find your partner repeatedly popping up at inopportune times, at inconvenient places, there’s a problem.

　　随便挑个星期三送上鲜花换你个惊喜是一种受欢迎的待人之道;但是在你明显十分忙碌或者是还有很多事情要处理的时候未先告知便出现的话，事情就恰恰相反了。如果你发现你的配偶经常性地在不适当的时候、不方便的地点出现，那么肯定就是有问题了。

　　2. Your partner tries to control you

　　2.你的配偶试图控制你

　　If you often find your partner using sneaky techniques to keep you in check, he or she doesn’t respect you.

　　如果你经常发现你的配偶暗中使用技巧来控制你，那么他(她)就是不够尊重你。

　　3. Your partner treats sex as a transaction

　　3.你的配偶将性视为一种交易

　　Anytime a person expects sex in exchange for something, the most basic form of respect is tossed out the window. Sex should never be used as a method of coercion or a form of payment.

　　无论何时，如果一个人期待用性来交换某件东西，那么最基本的尊重也就荡然无存了。性决不应该作为一直强制方法或者是支付形式。

　　4. Your partner isn’t proud of you

　　4.你的配偶不为你感到骄傲。

　　Just as you’ve strived for your parents’ approval throughout your life, seeking those heavily-weighted words of acceptance, you want the same from your partner. To hear “I’m proud of you,” from someone you respect is a big deal, and it’s important that both partners take pride in the relationship. When your partner is proud of you, there’s a mutual respect for one another.

　　正如你穷尽一生为获得父母的认可一样——寻求那些代表赞同的重量级文字——同样你也希望从你的配偶那儿得到这些。听到你尊敬的人说“我为你感到骄傲”是件重要的事情，双方对这种关系感到自豪也是如此。当你的配偶为你感到骄傲的时候，彼此的尊重也就有了。

　　5. Your partner refuses to compromise or negotiate

　　5.你的伴侣拒绝妥协或者是协商

　　It’s only natural the person closest to you will get under your skin, and part of a relationship is being able to discuss life’s major challenges as a team. But when one person in a relationship isn’t willing to act as a team, there’s bound to be long-term issues.

　　与你最亲密的人对你妥协是件很自然的事情，这种关系的一部分就是能够像团队一样讨论人生的重大挑战。但是，当其中一人不愿意跟你像个团队一样，就一定是个长期的问题了。

（编辑：何莹莹）