90后爆笑遗言:清空浏览记录、墓园必须有Wi-Fi(双语)
沪江2019-03-15 14:44
如果90后立遗嘱,上面会写什么?
一位老外的回答在网上笑skr了一片:务必清空我的浏览器搜索记录!
那是啊,这种东西是真的不能留。
仔细一想,似乎我们能在遗嘱上写的东西还真不少呢?
于是英大我去搜罗了一筐中外90后和00后想出的惊世骇俗的遗嘱细则,一起来看一看有没有哪一条就是你想说的吧:
01
务必清空我的浏览器搜索记录,速度!
Delete all the search records on my browser! Fast!
02
书桌右边抽屉有2个移动硬盘,立刻销毁!
There are 2 mobile hard drives in the right drawer of my desk. Destroy them! Right away!
03
立即冻结我的QQ空间,不要让任何人翻以前的历史记录!
Immediately freeze my Qzone. Don't let anyone read the history posts!
04
现有20年的历年健身卡,完整系列,全部9成新,值得收藏。
20 years' gym membership card, whole collection, 90% new, worth collecting.
05
记得喂猫,猫粮不要牛肉口味的,只要三文鱼口味的。
Remember to feed my cat. No beef flavor, salmon only.
06
手机上刚冒出的红点还没点掉!
The red dot just popped out on my phone hasn't been eliminated!
07
这个月的花呗还有12,372.69没还,余额里有200可以用,密码是PoorNumber1xFuck。
The credit card has 12,372.69 to pay off for the month. There are 200 still left in the account and the Password is PoorNumber1xFuck.
08
每天帮我上微博给爱豆的所有新状态点赞,并至少留言一条赞美性评论。
Press "like" for all the new posts my idol posts everyday and leave at least one praising comment.
PS:如果哪天他结婚了,请立刻替我粉转黑。
PS: If he ever got married, you turn into a troll immediately.
09
遗照别忘了美颜。
Don't forget to apply some filters on my photo for the funeral.
10
把我的手机屏幕砸了!越碎越好!
Smash the screen of my phone! The more broken the better!
11
让陵园建Wi-Fi!然后把密码烧给我!
Make the cemetery install Wi-Fi and burn the password to me!
12
祭扫的时候不用烧纸了,帮我带一杯星巴克的馥芮白,venti尺寸不加糖,洒肉桂粉。
Don't burn things like nether money when you visit my grave. Bring me a Flat White from Starbucks, venti, without sugar, cinnamon sprinkled.
13
柯南和小兰结婚了吗?柯南上三年级了吗?
Have Conan and Mouri Ran got married? Is Conan now in Grade 3?
14
海贼王完结那天,记得把后面的全部剧情烧给我。
When One Piece ends, do burn me the remaining story I missed.
15
把我的骨灰撒在朝阳区,最好是学区。
Spread my ashes in Chaoyang District, ideally in a school district.
不得不说,这说的就是我了。
你呢?你觉得你的遗言会有什么神奇的条目出现?
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