导读：又到一年毕业季，各式各样的毕业典礼，总能勾起一代学子的念念不舍之情——那些在校园的青葱岁月，那些与同学谈天说地的日子，那些为了考试毕设奔前跑后的辛酸和值得……

　　面对又有一批学子即将离开校园，老师总不免嘱咐几句。鸡汤热泪，该洒的都洒了……但是今年厦门大学的毕业典礼上，代表教授的发言：“图书馆带不走，实验室带不走，小师妹…哦，这个好像可以带走…还有，不要随便叫陌生男人老公，不论他多有名有钱。”笑倒了一片……

　　看多了励志毕业演讲，好像这种幽默范儿反而更让我们笑中带泪了呢~国外也有滑稽幽默的毕业演讲哦，英语君节选了部分，在幽默中，寻一寻回忆里的感动和对未来的展望吧!

　　1. ELLEN DEGENERES, Actress, Tulane University, 2009

　　著名脱口秀主持人、演员艾伦·德詹尼丝，2009年杜兰大学毕业演讲

　　Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.

　　追随你的激情，忠于自己，别盲从别人的路，除非你在树林里并且你迷路了，那么你务必要走你看到的那条路。

　　2. ERIC IDLE, Actor and Comedian, Whitman College, 2013

　　演员、喜剧明星艾瑞克·爱都，2013年惠特曼学院毕业演讲

　　You probably remember the first time you got drunk. Who knew the room would go round and round and round? They don't say that on the bottle, do they? 'Warning: The room will go round and round and round.' So be careful of that. When the room is spinning, you've pretty much had enough. It's the same with marriage.

　　你可能还记得第一次喝醉。谁知道整个房间会转啊转啊转啊?贪杯的人不会那么说，不是吗?友情提示：房间将变得转啊转啊转啊。你得小心了。当房间正在旋转，你已经喝的差不多了。婚姻也是如此。

　　3. STEPHEN COLBERT, Writer, comedian and TV host, Northwestern University, 2011

　　(《扣扣熊报告/深夜秀》)主持人、作家、喜剧演员史蒂芬·科拜尔，2011年西北大学

　　And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.

　　……且我们没有手机。如果你计划与某人在暴风雪中见面，并且他们没有出现，你就不得不假设他们被狼吃掉了并且继续你自己的生活。

　　4. FRED ARMISEN, Actor, Oregon Episcopal High School, 2011

　　演员弗莱德·阿米森，2011年俄勒冈主教高中毕业演讲

　　Remember that there's no one way of doing things. You know how when you unscrew something it's 'righty tighty, lefty loosey'? If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.

　　记住，做事情并不止一种方式。你知道拧开什么东西的时候“右拧拧实，左拧拧开”是怎么操作的吧?如果你拿一个锤子，用力敲打，不管它是什么，我向你保证你能打开它。

　　5. BRADLEY WHITFORD, Film and television Actor (NBC's West Wing), University of Wisconsin, 2004

　　电影、电视(NBC电视剧《白宫风云》)演员布莱德利·惠特福德， 2004年威斯康星大学毕业演讲

　　The sad truth is, I don't even remember who the speaker was at my graduation. I remember squinting a lot and a vague sense that I would never again be around so many attractive, available young people in my life. It is my solemn duty to inform you that that fear is entirely well founded. This is coming from a guy who works in Hollywood, by the way.

　　一个令人伤心的事实是，我甚至不记得我毕业的时候是谁做的演讲。我记得我眯着眼，有着一个模糊的感觉，我的生活中永远不会再有如此之多、有着吸引力的年轻人了。我很负责的告诉你，恐惧是完全有理由的。顺便一提，这是来自一个在好莱坞工作者的心得。

（编辑：何莹莹）