Turd Burner 粪便燃烧处理师

　　For those who spend long periods of time in the great outdoors or at sea, relieving yourself can be more problematic than you think as operating toilets are not always feasible or readily available. So what to do with all the human waste? Several companies have come up with special toilets that burn excrement for such occasions. But, of course, someone has to operate these ingenious contraptions, turd burners. Although the “flushing” is done by each visitor to the john, these workers maintain and operate special toilets that burn waste so it’s converted into harmless, germ-free, odorless ashes. But they’ve got to use their nose to tell if something’s wrong with the toilet. If there’s a bad smell, something’s wrong.

　　对于那些长时间待在户外或在海上的人来说，上厕所麻烦得很，厕所不一定能用，有时还没有厕所。那么应该如何处理排泄物呢?有几家公司发明了一种特殊的厕所，能够燃烧粪便。虽然上完厕所的人都会冲水，但必须要有专业人士来操纵这一装置，使粪便转化为无害、无味、无菌的灰烬。他们必须用鼻子来辨别装置是否出了问题，如果有难闻的味道，那必定是出了故障。

　　turd[tɝd]: n. 粪，粪便

　　Gum Buster 口香糖克星

　　We all did it willfully when we were kids, and still do it unwittingly as adults: Stick your used, chewed-up, salivated gum onto a surface, any surface. But sooner or later, someone’s going to have to clean that up. That’s when a Gum Buster goes to work. They clean gum off of city sidewalks, stadium seats, school hallways, and the underside of school desks. The name “Gum Buster” comes from the machine you use, invented by a Dutch chemist in 1998. The machine dry steams the gum in just 5 seconds, making removal easier. Gum Busters can expect to earn between $18,000 – $40,000.

　　从小到大，我们都会故意或不经意地把吃过的、嚼过的、沾满唾液的口香糖黏在各种表面。总有一天会有人来收拾残局。这就是口香糖克星的职责所在，他们会清理掉城市人行道、体育场座位、学校走廊和课桌底部的口香糖。1998年，一位荷兰的化学家发明了一台专治口香糖的机器，只需要5秒就能蒸干口香糖，这样就方便清理了。口香糖克星的名字就源于这台机器。口香糖克星的年薪预计在1.8万至4万美元之间。

　　Whale-Feces Researcher 鲸鱼粪便研究员

　　When whales poo, they poo bigtime, almost as large as the whale itself. Researchers comb through giant logs of whale dung looking for clues about the endangered North Atlantic right whales, including pregnancy detection, genetics, hormone and biotoxin levels. Whale poo chasers first have to find a pod, and wait for them to relieve themselves. They have about an hour before the turds sink to the bottom of the ocean.

　　鲸鱼的粪便几乎和它们的个头一般大。为了研究濒临灭绝的北大西洋露脊鲸，研究人员需要梳理大量的鲸鱼粪便，探寻怀孕指征、遗传、激素和生物毒素水平等线索。研究员们首先要找到一个鲸群，然后等着他们排便。他们大约只有一个小时的时间，否则粪便很快就会沉入海底。