You are not your resume.

　　你的简历并不能代表你。

　　The trouble is that some HR types don't want to make too much effort, so they look for certain items on their checklists.

　　可问题是有些HR并不想费太多心思在浏览简历上，他们只是寻找自己中意的某些特定词汇。

　　They also look for certain items that drive them to the north of doolally.Some of these items, sadly, are words and phrases that too many people think are exactly the sort of thing that HR people need to hear.

　　同样他们也会搜寻那些“雷人”的词汇。而可悲的是，很多应聘者还认为这些“雷人”的词汇正是HR们最想看到的。

　　Helpfully, the Daily Mail asked experts at LinkedIn and CV-Library which self-expressions spell doom for their subjects.

　　为此，每日邮报请来了LinkedIn 和CV-Library网站的专家来为大家揭秘哪些自我描述会让简历出局。

　　I present them here, but with my own highly subjective annotations.

　　我把它们列了出来，并加上了自己的主观评注。

　　1. Hard-Working.

　　1.工作努力

　　You're clearly the apogee of superfluousness if you include this one. How many resumes do you think there are that describe the applicant as Stunningly lazy doofus? And how can you prove you're hard-working? By using such a lazy phrase?

　　把这点也写上去明显太过多余。有哪个求职者会在简历上描述自己懒得出奇?而且你如何能证明自己工作努力呢?仅仅是用这样一个词就能省心了?

　　2. Enthusiastic And Passionate.

　　2.富有热情和激情

　　We're supposed to be innately enthusiastic and passionate. Every day must be awesome or we lose our credentials as humans. Don't say it, prove it. This, of course, takes some thought.

　　热情与激情应该是我们与生俱来的东西。每一天都应该过得不同凡响，否则我们就失去了作为人类的资格。这一点不能光口头说，用实际行动来证明它。写上这一点当然也需要加以斟酌。

　　3. Track Record.

　　3.有工作业绩

　　Otherwise known as Broken Record, this is thoroughly pointless. If they read your resume, they'll decide whether you've proved your track record. Again, don't claim it. Show it.

　　有工作业绩的反面就是没工作业绩。在简历里写这一点毫无意义。如果他们读了你的简历，自然能判断你的工作业绩是否属实。重申一遍，不要光说，要展示出来。

　　4. Salary Negotiable.

　　4.工资可商议

　　What? Why? Is this supposed to suggest you're desperate? Is it intended to show that you're so stunningly reasonable that you're prepared to listen to the company's offer? Isn't every salary negotiable? Why even mention salary? Let that happen as the process goes along.

　　什么?你为什么要提这个?你想表现出你的绝望吗?还是你想表明自己通情达理愿意接受公司给出的薪酬?工资哪有不能商议的道理?为什么要主动提到薪酬呢?让这个话题自然而然的出现就行了。

　　5. References Available Upon Request.

　　5.有需要可提供参考

　　Oh, the employer has to ask nicely, do they? Or you won't give them references at all? When it comes to the time for references, they'll ask. They know how to do this. You don't need to help them. Though it might be lovely if someone wrote the truth on their resume: "I've got some big, important names who are prepared to lie on my behalf. But you know they're going to lie, so why don't you find your own referees and don't tell me anything about it? Even though that will be scary for me."

　　噢，这时候招聘者不得不友好地回一句：“真的吗”。难道说你不会给他们提供任何参考资料?需要参考资料的时候，他们自然会向你要。他们知道怎么做，不用你教。也许如果有人在简历上吐露真相说会有一些大人物替我撒谎。但是如果你知道他们会撒谎，你为什么不你的公证人去，并且对我保密呢?虽然那种行为对我而言很可怕。

　　6. Team Player Who Works Individually.

　　6.善于团队合作和独立工作

　　This sounds like Ice Cream That's Made Of Dairy Products. Or Potato That Came From The Ground. Some people believe that if they claim to be all the things that a potential employer could possibly expect, then they'll attract attention. Instead, they'll more likely attract a snort.

　　这听起来就好像是说冰淇淋是用乳制品制成的，或者马铃薯长在地里一样。有人认为如果他们提到了招聘者希望看到的所有特质，就能招来关注。其实，他们招来的更多的是人家的嗤之以鼻。

　　7. Extensive Experience.

　　7.经验丰富

　　The man from LinkedIn told the Mail that you're more likely to show your experience by demonstrating your activity in one or more of LinkedIn's fascinating groups. He said that if you do, you're 15 times more likely to be given a look than someone who doesn't. But LinkedIn has extensive experience (and passionate enthusiasm) in selling LinkedIn. Phrases such as "extensive experience" have come to enjoy slightly yawn-making connotations.

　　LinkedIn 专家告诉每日邮报记者，证明这一点的更好办法是在领英网络小组讨论中展现你的积极性。这样做会使你的名片增加15倍的浏览量。但LinkedIn网站在推广自己的时候却是经验丰富(且极富激情)。说自己“经验丰富”之类的话只会让人哈欠连天。

　　8. Perfectionist.

　　8.完美主义者

　　The experts say that no one is perfect all the time and those who behave like self-claiming perfectionists can be less than entertaining co-workers. They're those who cannot see the golf course for the holes. For me, the mere thought of claiming to be a perfectionist has slightly haughty overtones. Does anyone actually know what perfect is?

　　专家说没有人可以保持一直完美，那些自称为“完美主义者”的人不大可能会成为有趣的同事，他们拘泥细节而看不到大局。对我来说，光想到完美主义者的称谓就觉得有点儿自大的感觉。有谁真正清楚什么才称之为完美?

　　9. Creative.

　　9.富有创造力

　　Look, you've written here that you're a hard-working, enthusiastic and passionate perfectionist. You say you're a team player who works individually and has extensive experience, as well as a stunning track record. You say your salary is negotiable and you have references available upon request. And now you're claiming you're creative? Seriously?

　　瞧瞧，你已经写上了自己是一个工作努力、富有激情的完美主义者。你还说自己善于团队合作和独立完成任务，且经验丰富，业绩非凡。再加上工资可商议，能提供参考资料。现在你竟声称自己有创意?开玩笑吧你?

（编辑：何莹莹）