There is nothing wrong with making a mistake. It’s what you say to yourself after you mess up that matters. Your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either magnify the negativity or help you turn that misstep into something productive.

　　犯错没什么特别的。这是在你搞砸了重要的事情之后自我安慰的话。你的自言自语(你对于自己感受的那些想法)要么扩大负面影响要么帮助你把那一个过失转变成具有创造力的东西。

　　Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of.

　　负向归因(消极的自我对话)是不切实际的，毫无意义的，也是自我打击的。它会把你带进一个向下的情感漩涡，难以自拔。

　　All self-talk is driven by important beliefs that you hold about yourself. It plays an understated but powerful role in success because it can both spur you forward to achieve your goals and hold you back.

　　任何自我对话都受你所相信的信条驱使。在通往成功的路上，它扮演着一个不张扬却是力量强大的角色，因为它既能驱使你达成目标，也会拖你的后腿。

　　As Henry Ford said, “He who believes he can and he who believes he cannot are both correct.”

　　正如Henry Ford所说：“‘他认为自己能行’与‘他认为自己不行’的说法都是正确的。”

　　TalentSmart has tested the emotional intelligence (EQ) of more than a million people and found that 90% of top performers are high in EQ. These successful, high EQ individuals possess an important skill—the ability to recognize and control negative self-talk so that it doesn’t prevent them from reaching their full potential. This is something many of them learned in emotional intelligence training.

　　Talent Smart公司测试了超过100万人的情绪智商，并且发现90%表现出色的人都具备高水平的情商。这些成功的情商高的人具备一项重要的技能——识别和控制消极的自我对话，防止它阻碍个人充分发挥潜力。这是他们之间许多人从情商训练当中所学到的东西。

　　These successful people earn an average of $28,000 more annually than their low EQ peers, get promoted more often, and receive higher marks on performance evaluations. The link between EQ and earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary.

　　这些成功的人们，他们比那些低情商水平的同龄人每年多赚取二万八千美元，常常被擢升，还会在绩效考核中获取高分数。情商与收入之间的相关性是如此的直接，以致情商测试分数每增加一分就会在年薪增加一万三千美元中体现。

　　When it comes to self-talk, we’ve discovered six common, yet toxic, beliefs that hold people back more than any others. Be mindful of your tendencies to succumb to these beliefs, so that they don’t derail your career:

　　当谈论到关于自我对话的话题时，我们发现了6个常见的，同时也“有毒”的信条，它们比其他信条更阻碍人们的进步。请细心留意自己是否有向这些信条臣服的倾向，防止它们扰乱你的职业轨道。

　　Toxic Belief #1: Perfection = Success

　　有毒信条之一：完美=成功

　　Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish, instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.

　　人类，从我们的本质来说，都是会犯错的。如果你把追求完美当成目标，你就总能感受到一丝丝的挫败感，最后只会在无法达成目的时浪费时间抱怨，而不是享受已有的成就。

　　Toxic Belief #2: My Destiny is Predetermined

　　有毒信条之二：我的命运已经固定了

　　Far too many people succumb to the highly irrational idea that they are destined to succeed or fail. Make no mistake about it, your destiny is in your own hands, and blaming multiple successes or failures on forces beyond your control is nothing more than a cop out. Sometimes life will deal you difficult cards to play, and others times you’ll be holding aces. Your willingness to give your all in playing any hand you’re holding determines your ultimate success or failure in life.

　　太多太多人臣服于这个极度不理智的说法，认为自己注定成功或注定失败。完全可以肯定的是，你的命运在你自己的手中，抱怨成功或失败不在你的控制之中仅仅是为了逃避。有时候生活会给你发一手烂牌，有时候也会给你一手好牌。你每一次给出牌意愿将会决定你的人生中的最终成就或失败。

　　Toxic Belief #3: I “Always” or “Never” Do That

　　有毒信条之三：我“总是”或“绝不”做

　　There isn’t anything in life that you always or never do. You may do something a lot or not do something enough, but framing your behavior in terms of “always” or “never” is a form of self-pity. It makes you believe that you have no control of yourself and will never change. Don’t succumb to it.

　　生活中没有什么事情是你总会做或永远不会做的。你可能会常常做某件事或不怎么做某件事，但是你把自己的行为根据“总是”或“绝不”的框架来设定，这只是一种自怨自艾的形式。它让你相信你对自己毫无控制权，也永远不回改变。不要相信这个谬论。

　　Toxic Belief #4: I Succeed When Others Approve of Me

　　有毒信条之四：别人赞同我，我就成功了

　　Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain?you’re never as good or bad as they say you are. It’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, but you can take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what people think about you, your self-worth comes only from within.

　　无论在任何一个时候别人对你的想法是什么，有一件事情是肯定的——你永远不是像他们所说的那么好或那么差。你无法在他人对你产生想法时关掉自己反应，但是你可以有保留地接收别人的观点。这样做的话，无论别人对你有什么想法，你的自我价值观只会从内而生。

　　Toxic Belief #5: My Past = My Future

　　有毒的信条之五：我的过去=我的未来

　　Repeated failures can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe you’ll achieve a better outcome in the future. Most of the time, these failures result from taking risks and trying to achieve something that isn’t easy. Just remember that success lies in your ability to rise in the face of failure. Anything worth achieving is going to require you to take some risks, and you can’t allow failure to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed.

　　重复的失败会毁了你的自信心，也会让你很难相信自己会有个美好的将来。大多数情况下，这些失败只是来源于冒险和尝试去实现某些不太容易实现的事情。你只需要记住，成功就潜在于你面对失败时的能力当中。任何值得去实现的事情都需要你去冒险，并且不能被失败阻碍你相信自己能够成功。

　　Toxic Belief #6: My Emotions = Reality

　　有毒的信条之六：我的情绪=现实

　　If you’ve read Emotional Intelligence 2.0, you know how to take an objective look at your feelings and separate fact from fiction. If not, you might want to read it. Otherwise, your emotions will continue to skew your sense of reality, making you vulnerable to the negative self-talk that can hold you back from achieving your full potential.

　　如果你早已阅读Emotional Intelligence 2.0的调查研究，你就会知道如何客观地看待自己的感受，区别现实与虚构场景。如果你还没有，那么你就需要去阅读一下。否则，你的情绪就会继续让你的真实感产生偏差，使你在自我消极对话当中变得敏感脆弱，阻碍你充分发挥潜力。